‘Those who use emotional cutoff as a coping mechanism often ironically end up trying to replicate their prior relationships in their new ones in order to fill an emotional hole or make things “different this time’ reports this article from Psychology Today. The reason why I bring this up is, as PG Wodehouse once wrote, the icy hand of Christmas is about our throats once more.
And of course this means my mother is wondering why she has no relationship with her daughter. My bi-polar mother really wants a Normal Rockwell family but it’s not n the cards.
Well, my mother is mentally ill and I strongly suspect her daughter (my sister) is as well. I keep telling my mater matris to focus on the good in the here and now and not to obsess over what she can’t change in other people but frankly two mentally ill people are a lot to handle. I’d never tell her this but the two of them staying apart from each other may be as good as it gets.
The article goes on: ‘Sometimes willful estrangement is a necessary step a person must take to protect themselves. However, it’s important to note that estrangement can also happen because of a lack of skills to resolve common conflicts.’