Why Do Some Siblings From Troubled Families Turn Out Fine, While Others Flounder?
This article looks at dysfunctional families and touches upon how one person can get saddled with caregiving.
‘To illustrate, say that one sibling is the “Chosen One” who has agreed to fulfill a dysfunctional role: He’s the one who never gets married so that he remains free to never leave home – in order to keep an eye on an ailing mother after a father runs off. Let us further suppose that the Chosen One suddenly says to Mom, “I can’t do this any more. I’m moving out so I can have a life of my own. You need to find someone your own age to take care of you!” and actually moves out (Mind you, this is something most people playing such a role are highly unlikely to ever do).
‘If he follows through, he will usually first suffer universal condemnation from every relative he has.’
The Twelve Red Flags of Dysfunctional Helping and Giving
Sometimes our helpful intentions give way to dysfunctional helping and giving. The solution isn’t to stop helping altogether; it’s to set helping boundaries once telltale signs of unhealthy helping appear. I call these signs the “Twelve Red Flags of Dysfunctional Helping and Giving.”