Penning a funeral oration for someone you dislike

The fine folk at the policy journal known as Cracked Magazine have collected five tips for writing a funeral oration for someone you dislike. Someday in the future, everything you love and cherish will stop existing and you will die. Heavy, I know, but there is a silver lining to that oblivion cloud: The same thing will happen to your enemies, and with any luck, it will happen to them first. No one ever wins in life, but as long as you strive to be the very last loser, you may have the luxury of watching awful people fall around you.

I already know what I’m going to say at the funeral of my bi-polar parent. It’d be vulgar to use the event to get in the last word so I’ll be brief and stick to what she believes her greatest traits were, et cetera, and then dive into glorious generalities like observing she faced a variety of health issues over her life. A eulogy (from εὐλογία, eulogia, Classical Greek for “good words”) is a speech to say goodbye the recently deceased, not to quote the ending of Casino Royale, however tempting.

Let’s put the ‘fun’ in ‘funeral’ with number five…

Chief Inspector Dreyfus, the patron saint of Bi-Polar Caregivers

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